So you've been at the affiliate game for a while now, promoting every product you can think of, and you're just not making as much as the affiliate gurus made you believe. Well that's because you're a stupid sucker.
But don't feel bad, because what you don't know is that those "affiliate gurus" have rigged the game. Yeah, that's it.
While they've got you out there promoting anti-virus software and Chinese mp3 players, they're simultaneously suppressing the knowledge of the 5 products that are the REAL AUTOMATIC WEALTH CREATING MONEY MAKERS you should be promoting!! Well now I'm going to blow the lid off the whole thing!
Here are those 5 Dynamite Affiliate Products they don't want you to know about;
1. Viewmaster Disks
As the quality of TV programming continues to plummet, people are turning to other alternatives - and since they can't read books, you're gonna sell thousands of these things.
2. Ice Cream Scoops
Hey, who cares if anthropogenic global warming is true or not? If Al Gore can make a boatload of money out of it, so can you!! Everybody loves ice cream, and the fear of scorching temperatures is driving people to hoard the chilly treat like crazy! Now what do all paranoid ice cream lovers need? Ice cream scoops! And hey, with our in-the-toilet economy, the sheeple always reach for their favorite fatty comfort food! Consider this your "Rocky Road to Riches!"
As the kids of GenX are now grown up and getting older, what will they do as they face a bleak future? Why, cling to the past of course! These collectible cardboard disks from the 90's are sure to surge in popularity, so you should get in on the second pog revolution now! As GenX'ers sink into despair, you can rise to new heights of wealth!!
4. Voice Masking Software
Because even though you're blocking the caller ID, women are starting to recognize your voice on the other side of the phone, gentlemen.
5. Black Ski Masks
It seems like everybody has their own website now, and lots of those stupid suckers are affiliates who promote stupid products on their stupid sites. Since they don't know the secrets you now know, they're obviously not making any money and likely very desperate - You can make a killing selling them this fashionable head covering... and they won't be using it to go skiing! Pass along a friendly "thank you!" when you encounter them at the convenience store!
So why am I revealing these INCREDIBLE SECRETS instead of making BIG MONEY from them myself? Why, it's because I don't really care about making money at all! Screw money, I got into affiliate blogging because it's just so much fun!